We as individuals have always set timelines for ourselves, be it a career, meeting ‘the one’ or even the ‘right age’ to have a child. The truth is we not only put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have it all but also WHEN we should have it all.
I’d be lying if I say that the pressure hasn’t gotten to me. If you’re a desi in your late 20s then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Being the youngest child, I do get my way at home, around my family. They let me get away with a lot of things so the ‘marriage’ pressure isn’t necessarily from them.
But our society, and by that I mean all my friends and family in Pakistan tend to ask me things like, ‘oh when are you tying the knot’, ‘abhi shadi nai karogi toh acha larka nai mileyga’. My comebacks to these questions have always been rather funny, because in my head I don’t think we were ONLY sent here to get married.
I’m not someone who would be bitter and tell everyone that marriage is BS, because that’s not necessarily true but it is a gamble. Some people are willing to gamble early on in their lives and others tend to take their time with it. And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with any of the two.
It’s just that I think it’s so important to educate the younger generation and well, the older one too in a way; to understand that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with taking YOUR time with things in life. And I don’t just mean marriage, everything else too.
Age with grace and pride, take pride in your growth, something that I tell myself everyday!
The right age to get married or have kids is when YOU are ready for it and if you’re NOT then don’t do it. You don’t have to do things just because it’s been the norm for generations. Don’t do it for your friends or family or just because everyone your age is doing it. We’re all on our own journey and are responsible for our lives ONLY. Don’t give into the pressure.
Comparing your life to someone else’s will only bring you down. Life choices will never be the same for two people, don’t stand in the way of your own self-growth just by comparing your life to your friend’s or anyone else’s. Somethings might be quicker or easier for someone else and the same things might be difficult for me. Everyone’s life is different, UNDERSTAND THAT!
Stop believing that you’re running out of time because you’re not. If you’re healthy today and have a roof over your head, you’re more blessed than you think. Also, you’re not running out of time to do your Masters, or get married or have a child or get divorced or start learning a new skill or whatever the f**k really!
Take pride in your mistakes, they were lessons that guided you till here. You learn from them, you grew because of them. Every person that has ever stepped into your life has taught you something. Every difficult challenging situation has given you something or the other that you probably don’t see right now but eventually you will. So hang in there, and EMBRACE it all. Be so open to every experience, run towards it with arms wide open because you never know where it will lead you.
Lastly, tolerance and acceptance will take you a long way. Be graceful about things, if someone pisses the shit out of you, be tolerant. If a situation isn’t going your way, accept it.
Life is like a car and you’re a dog tied to it, you can either resist and let the car drag you with it or you can RUN with the car.
The choice is yours.